Tea in the Life of a Life Coach

Although I have known Katrena Friel for years, I had no idea about her work as a Life and Career Coach until I saw one of her workshops. Presenting to a huge crowd of eager businessmen and women, I admired her engaging energy, tireless confidence and positive encouragement so much that I couldn’t help but ask her to tell me more. “Come over to my house some time.” she invited. “You need to relax more and it’s amazing what a chat over a cuppa can do.”

And so here I was, standing outside Katrena’s house on the Central Coast, Sydney. It’s the first time I am visiting Katrena and it’s not purely social; I am apprehensive, my feet shuffling on the doormat, my hands clasping each other tightly in front of me, my gaze wavering between the doorway and something else to look at. Briefly, I think of the many, many people who have stood at this very same spot, waiting for the door to open and their life to change for the better. I wonder how they must feel. Anxious? Hopeful? Optimistic?

The door opens and Katrena’s smiling her contagious smile. She’s always well-groomed and her eyes, which also smile now, are gentle and intelligent. She greets me warmly and I follow her in.

“My front door is not far from my kitchen, so when a client comes in, we wander over and I put the kettle on. While I’m waiting for it to boil, we catch up on their week.” As she clicked the kettle on I skim over her huge collection of teas, from Earl Grey to English Breakfast to Lemon and Ginger. “Part of a making tea-drinking special is having many to choose from,” she muses. “If you only have a standard black tea, it just doesn’t make the occasion feel as special.” I wonder about her clients’ preferences. “Green tea has become very popular because most of my clients subscribe to its health benefits.”

I say I’ll have whatever her favourite tea is. “It’s Peppermint. I find it really refreshing. After all, my business is called ‘Refresh your Thinking’, so I am making Peppermint Tea my official tea.”

[bctt tweet=”Part of making tea-drinking special is having many to choose from”]

As the tea steeps I stiffly lean against the kitchen bench in an attempt to seem more at ease. It has always taken me a while to settle in a new environment. If Katrena noticed my awkwardness she didn’t let on and our conversation continued. Do you always make tea for your clients, I ask. “Yes, doing it as the hostess is what the occasion calls for. It is the first time the client gets to experience me serving them. As a coach, this is an important unconscious experience for the client. I serve them. It sets the scene for other ways that I can help them, support them, nurture them and serve them.”

Katrena poured our peppermint tea from a gorgeous Alice in Wonderland teapot. As she offers me the tea, Katrena explains how even her most dynamic clients are put at ease when they accept their cup. “Sitting back with a hot cuppa in a domestic setting disarms them unconsciously, making them feel like they are talking to their grandma”.

I found myself beginning to settle now that I had something to do with my hands. Blowing gently over my very hot tea I think about how I usually have to give my tea time to cool a bit before sipping on it. Normally any kind of pause like this would make me feel unsure, but while Katrena pours her own cup she easily fills the silence by explaining what happens next. “They are usually holding their cup in both hands as they follow me into the lounge area.” Katrena demonstrates as we leave the kitchen. “They sit with the tea in their laps while it cools and then after chatting for a few more minutes they take their first sip to test the waters… and then the therapy begins.”

Lowering myself into a huge black leather chair I try to settle in for the rest of the conversation. Since I always feel a bit nervous when I go to someone’s house or office for the first time, the question pops out before I can stop myself. “At first they are a bit nervous,” admits Katrena. “But when they have something to cradle in their jittery hands, they start to relax; the warmth seeping into their palms are a gentle reminder that they chose to come here and they’re safe.” I am suddenly conscious that my own body language has shifted and indeed I have reclined in my seat, cradling the warm cup of tea on my lap.

Pointing to my cup, Katrena adds, “Most clients, I notice, hold the cup between their legs in between sips. Make of that what you will! After the first sip, you see their body sink further into the big black leather couch. By the end of the session, they have usually disappeared into the couch!” she giggles.

And all this time, I haven’t even sipped my tea, but clearly, the act of making and offering a cup of tea is a significant part of Katrena’s session. “It’s everything! It’s the tea, it’s the fact that it’s hot, it’s the beautiful setting in nature, with the bird sounds, it’s the trickling water pond behind them, it’s the relaxing music quietly on in the background, it’s my voice, it’s their intention to move forward in their life and change what it is they want to change.” I hadn’t noticed all these subtle environment enhancers until Katrena mentioned them. Closing my eyes for a second I soak up my peaceful surroundings.

It’s easy to see how relaxing everything is. But Katrena says, her favorite sign that a client has relaxed fully is in the speed of their speech. “My clients are from the rat race and coming to work on themselves allows them time to get off the rat race and get back into their bodies for a couple of hours before the onslaught of life gets them back into their drama cycles again.”  

[bctt tweet=”It’s everything! It’s the tea, it’s the fact that it’s hot, it’s the beautiful setting in nature, with the bird sounds..”]

I ask Katrena what role tea plays in her own life. “I love tea, always have since I was a little girl; when my nanny showed me how to rinse the cup out with hot water to warm the cup and then toss it out and pour from the tea pot after it had steeped for 4 minutes. ‘Now we are ready to pour,’ she would say.” I remembered how tea was important in my family too. It didn’t matter if we were welcoming someone, having a break, coming together in sadness or celebration, my Nana, Mum or one of my Aunties would always put the kettle on. We had different sets for different occasions…

Here, she stops me and says, “Please use your good china, don’t let it sit pretty in a cabinet. Use it for the purpose in which it was made. My nanny would say, ‘Beautiful things should be used’.” I wonder how she knows about my treasured teapots sitting unused in the cabinet. Fearful I would be unable to preserve their beauty with overuse, I have doomed them to a lifetime of ornamental rejection.  

I am loathe to leave the comfy couch, the wonderful house, even put down my cup of tea. The difference in my posture, emotions and thinking have altered significantly since I had arrived. It’s been a supremely relaxing meeting and I leave more refreshed than I felt walking in. Certainly one of my more memorable moments with tea.

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